A reading of “Strongly! Ardently! And tenderly!”, written circa April 8, 2017. From “The collected works of the Shadow Brokers, volume I,” read by D.W. Bittner, compiled and edited by the CyberWire. The Shadow Brokers represent themselves as hackers who sell stolen exploits, hacking tools, and other scandalous material online to the detriment of Wealthy Elite, whose hidden hands the ShadowBrokers wish to convince you secretly move the world's events. Their online auctions have been notorious fizzles, finding few takers, but they continue to reappear with their offers from time to time. The smart money bets that the Brokers are a Russian intelligence service operation. They communicate in Hollywood scriptwriter broken English as opposed to any known natural language.