Word Notes 4.4.23
Ep 142 | 4.4.23

Cyber gravity (noun)


Rick Howard: The word is: Cyber Gravity.

Rick Howard: Spelled: cyber for cybernetic organisms, or cyborgs. So, next time you hear someone use the term "cyber," just remember they might be referring to a highly advanced futuristic cyborg! Or they might be a cyborg, or they think you're a cyborg. And gravity, or a force that is generated by small particles called "gravitons," which are emitted by all matter in the universe. The more massive an object is, the more graviton it emits, and the stronger it's gravitational pull. So next time you feel yourself pulled down towards the Earth, just remember it's all thanks to those pesky little gravitons.

Rick Howard: In the multiverse. They're balanced by their opposites, like "levitons," and did you also consider that light is just the absence of darkness? Only chumps believe all that photon stuff. It's really particles of darkness, "drosons," and you can prove they exist. Did you ever notice that you can drive faster at night with your headlights on than with your headlights off? That's because the headlights aren't putting out light. They're actually sucking in darkness, which pulls your car along faster. True fact! Those headlights are actually more accurately called "dark-suckers."

Rick Howard: Definition: The invisible force that governs the movement of data across networks.

Rick Howard: Example sentence: The cybersecurity team hypothesized that the sudden slowdown in data transfer was due to an unknown cyber gravity force that was impeding the movement of packets.

Rick Howard: Origin and context: Confirming her cyber gravity theory in 2020, Dr. Maria Sanchez measured cyber gravity waves with her cutting-edge device called the "DataWave Analyzer," that measures the movement of data packets across networks. Her theory suggests that just like gravity affects the. Physical objects, cyber gravity affects the movement of data packets as they travel from one network to another. While it's still a relatively new concept, some cybersecurity experts believe that cyber gravity plays a significant role with bandwidth shortages and home users not being able to watch the latest versions of the HBO series"The Last of Us" as the earth moves closer to the sun in its annual orbit.

Rick Howard: A secondary theory surrounding cyber gravity, yet to be measured is that it can create virtual black holes that trap malicious actors. Just like a black hole in space traps anything that comes too close, a virtual black hole created by cyber gravity could trap malware or other malicious code. This would make it more difficult for attackers to carry out their attacks, potentially giving cybersecurity professionals more time to respond and neutralize the threat. While the concept of cyber gravity may seem farfetched, it's clear that there are still many mysteries to be uncovered in the world of cyber gravity. As we continue to face increasingly sophisticated cyber threats, it's important to keep an open mind and explore new theories and ideas that may help us better understand the forces at play. It's the multiverse and the metaverse. And speaking of meta stuff, did you know that meta just means what comes next? I mean, Aristotle's book on metaphysics got its really obvious title "The Metaphysics" just because it came right after his book on physics, which is called "The Physics."

Rick Howard: Nerd reference: In the 1936 film "Things to come," set in the year 2036 and based on an H.G. Wells novel and directed by William Cameron Menzies. Best known for "Gone with the Wind" and starring Raymond Massey, best known for Arsenic and Old Lace, East of Eden, and Abe Lincoln in Illinois, a group of scientists built a spacecraft called the "Space Gun" that is designed to launch humans into space. However, due to unforeseen cyber gravity, the spacecraft ends up overshooting its destination and crashed landing on the moon. Here's Raymond Massey explaining to his team why the young people don't believe in cyber gravity.

Raymond Massey: I take it this Space Gun has passed all its preliminary trials and that nothing's left now, but to choose those who are to go. 

First Engineer: That's going to be the trouble. 

Second Engineer: Thousands of young people have been applying, young men and young women. I never dreamt the moon was so attractive. 

First Engineer: Practically the gun is perfect now. There are risks, but reasonable risks and the position of the moon in the next three or four months gives us the best conditions for getting there.

Rick Howard: And fun fact, the first gun to send people to the moon was in Jules Burns novel "From the Earth to the Moon," and it was built by Wait for it, "The Gun Club de Baltimore," pardon our French. We see that with great pride in our Baltimore roots. This special April 1st edition of Word Notes was totally written by a Factitious Intelligece Bot, a FIB, which is a person acting like a really misinformed AI. You can look it up. 

Rick Howard: Word Notes was written by Rick Howard, John Petrick and Chat GPT as an April Fool's joke, in the year 2023, there is no such thing as Cyber Gravity. It wasn't discovered by Dr. Maria Sanchez because she doesn't exist, and Raymond Massey wasn't talking about Cyber Gravity in that old movie. Frankly, we're not sure what he was talking about because let's just say the movie dialogue is pretty bad. The special effects are fantastic, but the dialogue, it's a bit painful. Word Notes is executive produced by Peter Kilpe and edited by John Petrik and me, Rick Howard. The mix, sound design, and original music have all been crafted by talented Elliott Pelzman. Thanks for listening.